Wrong choices of love

You might make a bad decision just to stay together. Here are mistakes you can learn from

In today’s world finding love is not as easy or simple as it was back in the day. With growing awareness and change in life styles, even the love game has gone through an evolution. Sometimes, when we find someone who is even remotely right for us, we tend to try anything just so that the relationship works. While its great to be so persevering. You need to understand that making decisions just so that you and your partner stay together without actually analysing the situation can be harmful in the long run. You cannot make a relationship decision based on just the yearning to be with someone. The following are a few bad decisions people make, when it comes to relationships. If you are guilty of any, you need to change your perspective.


Parasite tendencies

To love someone and want to be with them is one thing, to get completely obsessed with a man or woman and hound them constantly is just a bad move. If you decide to pursue a man or woman, do it in such a way that he or she gets the hint but at the same time does not feel overwhelmed by you. A person needs space for themselves, so don’t be on his or her case 24/7. Learn to give space.

Conditions
Another bad move people make when it comes to relationships is that they start giving their partner ultimatums and conditions. For example, “If you really loved me, you’d stop drinking” or “if you love me, attend so and so party with me” etc. You need to understand that you can’t force someone to change and just because you are in a long term relationship does not give you the authority to emotionally blackmail your partner. Yes, what you might be suggesting could be good advice but there are better ways of communicating than to give ultimatums. So don’t try the above, it sounds more like a threat than love.

Here comes baby
When things start going slightly wrong in a relationship, many couples make the biggest mistake of deciding to have a baby, to fix things. If two mature adults can’t salvage a relationship, how will a new born child help? Besides, a child is not the solution. You need to sort out issues with your partner first and then decide to have a baby. The child might only make things worse because if you and your partner are not getting along without a baby involved, there is no guarantee that things won’t get worse once the baby arrives. So have a baby when you’re ready and not just because you want to sort things out with your partner.

The green monster
As mentioned above, learn to give space. Don’t get over possessive of your partner and try to keep a track of every move he or she makes. This is not a detective game, it’s your love life so treat it with a little trust.

Gossip
The last thing you want to do when you are having relationship trouble is to talk about it to other people. People often make silly decisions about their marriage based on what someone else says. If you want your relationship to work the decision making has to be between you and your partner. Bad mouthing him or her will only make things worse.

Affairs
When someone is having a bad relationship and can’t get out of it they decided to involve a third party and hope that their spouse finds out just so that a break up can happen. This is not only childish but also insensitive. You do not need to have an affair and hurt everybody involved. If you want out of a relationship, just talk about it or at least try to make things work. Running into the arms of another man or woman won’t make your life any better; in fact you’ll be dealing with two lovers instead of one. So, be careful.

Stay for no reason
The worst decision for any relationship is for two people to remain in one just for the sake of it or because they are too lazy to sort out their issues. You cannot remain with someone only because you have children together or because you have no other option. This decision can scar your entire life. It’s ok to move on if your relationship is making you unhappy. You and your partner can find ways to balance the equation. Of course, open communication could help solve your problems but at least try before giving up. Remember, it takes two people to make or break a relationship.


Agree ? :)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Mars Vs Venus.. :)

The whole Venus and Mars thing

Why men think with their head and women with their heart...

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says
the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I
do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She
wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a
pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she
had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.